


The Schuyler(-Hamilton) Savages

by KianStrugglesToEven



Series: Kinky Memes [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:26:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KianStrugglesToEven/pseuds/KianStrugglesToEven
Summary: MacaroniAndMe: Why are the Schuyler(-Hamiltons) so savageSicklyAndPrickly: The fact they have all done it implies that they are trained to tbhNarrativeControl: Mom does teach us stuff like that tbhDamilton: Literally my first week there we had tea and she taught me how to make men cry i love herAngeli-kickyourass: Same tbh





	

"Help Us"  
KinkGeorge: Eliza why is your boyfriend sulking in the campus coffee shop  
4SetsOfCorsets: IM NOT SULKING  
NarrativeControl: OhmyGod hercules it was a j o k e chill tf out   
4SetsOfCorsets: It was fucking rude thats what it was  
Pegarita: The fuck  
NarrativeControl: He's upset because we were having sex and when he bottomed out i asked him if it was in yet  
JeSuisChrist: Oml you didnt  
NarrativeControl: I did  
4SetsOfCorsets: IM NOT UPSET THAT WAS VERY RUDE  
Pegarita: Me @Theo tbh  
DangDiggityDosia: MY HANDS ARE SMALL OKAY WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??  
KinkGeorge: Oh my god Peggy  
LittleRedDress: I literally bought a dildo for you two??? like last week??  
DangDiggityDosia: It needs batteries  
LittleRedDress: Babe it really doesnt  
Damilton: @ThePolys: You have a private chat for a reason & @Herculiza: Lmao ive done that b4 Eliza  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oml you did it to James Monroe in highschool i remember that it was great  
Damilton: And then you also did it to James Monroe like, a month later  
Pegarita: Is that why he hates us all now  
Damilton: yea  
MacaroniAndMe: Why are the Schuyler(-Hamiltons) so savage  
SicklyAndPrickly: The fact they have all done it implies that they are trained to tbh  
NarrativeControl: Mom does teach us stuff like that tbh  
Damilton: Literally my first week there we had tea and she taught me how to make men cry i love her  
Angeli-kickyourass: Same tbh  
\--------------------------  
"The Schuyler Family Group Chat"  
Damilton: Momma i love you  
Pegarita: Same  
NarrativeControl: Same  
Angeli-kickyourass: Same  
SchuylerDefeated: Wow, only your mother?  
SchuylerDefeater: Aww, i love you all to  
Pegarita: Dad shush you know we love you aswell  
SchuylerDefeated: : (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧  
Damilton: I will literally pay money for you to never use that again  
\----------------------------------  
"Help Us"  
ABurrSir: I will literally pay The Polys to never discuss their sex lives in this chat again  
Turtle.Boi: Seconded  
NarrativeControl: Thirded, because thats my sister and i dont need to hear what she gets up to  
Pegarita: Blocked  
DangDiggityDosia: Unfollowed  
LittleRedDress: Reported  
SicklyAndPricky: Oml   
\---------------------------  
NarrativeControl: Angelica has a daddy kink it is confirmed  
Angeli-kickyourass: She speaks lies dont trust her  
NarrativeControl: I'm not she literally just called this guy daddy on the phone  
Damilton: I??? What????  
Angeli-kickyourass: I was talking to dad you fuck  
NarrativeControl: I smell bullshit  
Angeli-kickyourass: You smell bullshit cos ur fucking lying i am Pure  
Angeli-kickyourass: The only kink i have is being loved and appreciated  
SicklyAndPrickly: Angel your a thirsty bitch and you know it  
Angeli-kickyourass: I mean, yeah  
\-------------------------  
4SetsOfCorsets: I need a small female bodied person to come to the Sewing rooms like, now please  
DangDiggityDosia: I also require a female bodied person  
Damilton:?????   
DangDiggityDosia: Apparently we were supposed to set up models to take pictures of our products but nobody told us??? Like at all??  
4SetsOfCorsets: Literally no one has a model everyone is freaking out  
Pegarita: Im in class sorry   
LittleRedDress: Rt  
NarrativeControl: Also in class  
Angeli-kickyourass: Sorry  
Damilton: I mean, how female-bodied do they need to be??  
Damilton: Im pretty small and i have a pretty slim figure???  
JeSuisChrist: "Slim" Alexander your almost Skelatal  
Damilton: IkIk im trying to gain some weight dw  
DangDiggityDosia: Alexander okay right that works can you get here like now  
4SetsOfCorsets: Your gonna be modelling for a lot of people okay bc literally nobody else has found a model  
Damilton: Thats fine, im on my way now  
DangDiggityDosia: You are a lifesaver dude  
SicklyAndPrickly: So this is why you JUST WALKED OUT OF CLASS WITH NO EXPLANATION  
4SetsOFCorsets: WAIT YOUR IN CLASS DUDE ITS CHILL LEARN YOUR STUFF  
Damilton: NO ITS OKAY IM SO FAR AHEAD I DID THE STUFF LIKE,, A MONTH AGO  
SicklyAndPrickly: Washington just kind of stopped talking, told us to read our notes and took out his phone  
Damilton: Shit  
\------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander I'm aware that your ahead of the class but you still need to actually be here  
Damilton: Sorry!! Herc and Theo need help in their class rn and im the only one reasonably able to help them  
GWash(ingMachine): I??? What do they need????  
Damilton: They need me to model their clothing for them and the rest of the classes   
GWash(ingMachine): Im going to accept this, this one time, if you send me the pictures that they take off you.  
Damilton: No Problem  
GWash(ingMachine): ;)  
Damilton: Old people shouldnt use emoji's.  
\---------------------  
DangDiggityDosia: Why is he blushing so much oml  
4SetsOfCorsets: Idk???  
MacaroniAndMe: Washingtons blushin aswell so  
Damilton: Herc&Theo GWash wants a copy of all the pictures you take of me in exchange for letting me out of class  
DangDiggityDosia: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats why okay  
SicklyAndPrickly: Thats kind of suggestive considering y'all arent officially dating yet  
Damilton: I mean,,,, if i accidentaly send a nude to the wrong number, im not in control of what they do with it  
4SetsOfCorsets: OH MY GOD ALEXANDER   
JeSuisChrist: Thats genius  
Turtle.Boi: Ive taught you well  
\-----------------------------  
Pegarita: I'm out of class if yall need models still  
DangDiggityDosia: Oh nah we good Everything fit Alexander well and we got all the pictures taken  
Damilton: Bra's are uncomfortable as shit how do y'all wear those everyday  
LittleRedDress: You wore a bra??  
Damilton: One of the outfits was this rlly nice mermaid type thing and it had a bra  
Damilton: That skirt was goals tho i love it i want one like that  
DangDiggityDosia: She would probably make you one tbh  
Damilton: Holy shit gimme her number so i can ask??  
MacaroniAndMe: What kinda skirt???  
Damilton: It was like,,, a full ballgown thing to mimic a tail kinda thing, and it could fold up and be buttoned so it was a short skirt like a transformation into humanity i actually love it tbh  
\----------------------  
MacaroniSucks: Yooooo This alexander?  
Damilton: Yea???  
MacaroniSucks: Theo said you wanted a skirt like the one you wore earlier???  
Damilton: Omg your the mermaid kid. Yea dude that skirt was dope  
Damilton: I can pay you for it and stuff  
MacaroniSucks: Hell yea man  
Damilton: Oh yea whats your,,, name,,,, cause,,, nobody told me,,,,  
MacaroniSucks: Oh lmao I'm Martha, Martha Jefferson  
Damilton: HOLY SHIT THE NAME MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW  
MacaroniSucks: I??? What???  
Damilton: IM ASSUMING YOUR RELATED TO THOMAS JEFFERSON???  
MacaroniSucks: Yea lmao thats my twin brother you know him???  
Damilton: Yea he's one of my best frenemies  
MacaroniSucks: Nice  
\-----------------------------  
Damilton: Thomas your sister is so nice??? How are you related to this sweet child???  
MacaroniAndMe: How?? Did you????  
MacaroniAndMe: Oh no wait she does fashion thats how nvm  
SicklyAndPrickly: Dont trust her Alexander she is a terrifying women  
Damilton: False???  
SicklyAndPrickly: She literally threw a guy across the lunch hall in highschool because he was trying to shit talk thomas  
MacaroniAndMe: Thats true  
Turtle.Boi: Literally Me  
SicklyAndPrickly: It was you, John  
Turtle.Boi: Yea  
Pegarita: ????  
Turtle.Boi: Before we were in the "Gay in the South" Club, we absolutely hated each other  
Turtle.Boi: and i was rlly mean (Ive apologised dw) and she just fuckin  
Turtle.Boi: Threw me   
MacaroniAndMe: It was really funny tbh  
Turtle.Boi: It was painful tbh  
Pegarita: I was confused because i didnt know you all went to the same school??? Your from different states????  
Turtle.Boi: There is one school in south that if you were rich, you'd go to, no matter what state your from  
MacaroniAndMe: Yep  
SicklyAndPrickly: yeah  
Pegarita: I????  
\-----------------------------  
NarrativeControl: A women on the TV just said that Anal makes her emotional...  
JeSuisChrist: Me  
4SetsOfCorsets: Id think it would make anyone emotional that shit would hurt lmao  
NarrativeControl: True^^  
NarrativeControl: No one likes anal  
4SetsOfCorsets: Some still do  
JeSuisChrist: Hello i am some  
NarrativeControl: Why tho??? Like i understand the gay guys doing it, but why???  
4SetsOfCorsets: Dunno, some lads say its tighter  
NarrativeControl: Jesus, that isnt worth it??  
4SetsOfCorsets: Is for some  
4SetsOfCorsets: People like what they like i dont judge em lmao  
NarrativeControl: I can understand some things about what people are into but not anal, thats not really worth it in my opinion  
4SetsOfCorsets: People are into different things babe  
NarrativeControl: They'd get shit on their dick tho??  
JeSuisChrist: This is a weird conversation  
NarrativeControl: Not the weirdest I've had   
\--------------------------  
Damilton: I cant believe you guys discussed anal without me i feel betrayed  
4SetsOfCorsets: I'm tired and read that as discovered  
Damilton: That would of been a very different conversation  
4SetsOfCorsets: Indeed  
\----------------------------  
Damilton: I am a piano tiles master  
NarrativeControl: Sure you are  
JeSuisChrist: He is at the top of the his leaderboard he is not lying  
MacaroniAndMe: Dude i could totally school you if i got the app  
Damilton: Try me, bitch  
MacaroniAndMe: I fucking will  
Damilton: My tiny thumbs will always be victorious  
SicklyAndPrickly: Hes downloading the app  
SicklyAndPrickly: Is this my life now  
SicklyAndPrckly: Im a piano tiles widow  
Pegarita: R.I.P James's Platonic Husband Alexander Hamilton, 1997(or)1999 to 2017  
KinkGeorge: Why are there two birth years???  
Angeli-kickyourass: because hes either 18 or 20 and he wont tell anyone which one he is and its annoying as shit   
Pegarita: The only person who knows his real birth date other than him is Mom because shes the one who recieved his documents and she wont tell anyone  
NarrativeControl: Even dad doesnt know  
Turtle.Boi: I know how old he is  
KinkGeorge: ????  
Turtle.Boi: He's old enough to do his own fucking laundry  
Damilton: ITS LIKE 3 SHIRTS MAN C'MON THEY WHERE AT YOUR PLACE ANYWAY  
Turtle.Boi: IM NOT DOING YOUR FUCKING LAUNDRY  
Damilton: But i dont have t i m e   
ABurrSir: Alexander, arent you ahead of your classes?  
Damilton: Ya but im working on some personal shiz ya know  
LittleRedDress: Such as?  
Damilton: Personal Shiz  
JeSuisChrist: Mhm, ive read what he's writing, its very good  
Pegarita: Maria babe where tf are you  
LittleRedDress: I am at a mcdonalds, ordering a fucking caramel iced frappe  
Pegarita: And you didnt ask if me an theo wanted anything???  
LittleRedDress: Babe, i love you, but i only have enough money for a Caramel Iced Frappe, and i am not leaving this establishment without one  
Pegarita: I mean,,, rude, i could really go some fries right now  
LittleRedDress: Theo's "Fries" are probably entering your body as we speak dont try and guilt trip me babs  
ABurrSir: DID THE CHAT NEED TO KNOW  
Damilton: I wonder if George wants to get fries with me   
Angeli-kickyourass: ALEXANDER NO  
Damilton: OH MY GOD ANGEL NOT LIKE THAT  
\------------------------------------  
Damilton: George! Do you want to go get some fries with me???  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander, you know we cant go on dates until the summer...  
Damilton: I know, thats why im gonna bring my laptop and your gonna read through my Personal Shiz im working on   
Damilton: Its not a date, im just studying.  
GWash(ingMachine): you do enjoy your loopholes, dont you?  
Damilton: Hell yea i do  
\------------------------------  
Damilton: Cool, ive got a study date with George, be back later!  
JeSuisChrist: Welp, looks like i havent got any plans tonight   
Damilton: We didnt have plans?  
KinkGeorge: Sweet Marquis, shall we have a Foreign Royalty Sleepover?  
JeSuisChrist: Why my dearest Prince, i believe we shall  
DangDiggityDosia: I wish i was foreign royalty so that i could go to those sleepovers  
Pegarita: Your seriously on your phone right now   
DangDiggityDosia: Oh yea shit sorry  
JeSuisChrist: I??? Dont wanna know  
DangDiggityDosia: ;)))))  
\---------------------------------  
MacaroniAndMe: My sugar daddy wants to meet me in person what do i do  
KinkGeorge: When and where  
MacaroniAndMe: In like,, a week at some upscale restaurant  
KinkGeorge: Do you wanna meet him???  
MacaroniAndMe: I mean??? He's a pretty cool dude and theres nothing wrong with him its just that ive dont??? know what would happen????  
MacaroniAndMe: Like would he want sex (i mean i wouldnt be opposed) and stuff i mean it could go in any direction  
KinkGeorge: You'll need to have a very detailed conversation with the guy and go through exactly what he is expecting and what your comfortable with  
KinkGeorge: Then if y'all get to an agreement, text me the date and time of your date and the restaurant your going to, and ill make reservations at the same time as a saftey measure  
MacaroniAndMe: I,,,, thanks man  
JeSuisChrist: I will also go with George to ensure your safety, and to step in as you if needed   
MacaroniAndMe: Thanks guys, like, really  
KinkGeorge: Its no problem, really, we want you to be safe while gettin that $$$  
\----------------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Why is that guy staring at you??  
Damilton: Which one?  
GWash(ingMachine): In the corner, with the glasses?  
Damilton: Uhm  
Damilton: OH  
Damilton: OH MY GOD  
Damilton: NO WAY  
Damilton: HOLY SHIT   
GWash(ingMachine): ?????  
Damilton: HANG ON IM GONNA ADD YOU TO SOMETHING  
\-----------------------  
"Those kids from the fancy fucking private school(ft that adopted kid)" with Angeli-kickyourass, NarrativeControl, Pegarita, Damilton, 4SetsOfCorsets, ABurrSir and FreeThoughts  
*Damilton added GWash(ingMachine) to "Those kids from the fancy fucking private school(ft that adopted kid)"*  
FreeThoughts: I havent been in this chat in a l o n g time why are you adding professor washington?  
Damilton: OKAY IM USING THIS CHAT BECAUSE Y'ALL WILL UNDERSTAND AND GWASH IS HERE BECAUSE HE IS CONFUSED  
GWash(ingMachine): I am so confused   
4SetsOfCorsets: What  
Damilton: OKAY SO YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO'S IN THIS RESTRAUNT  
Angeli-kickyourass: Someone from high school, considering the chat we are in  
Damilton: JAMES MOTHERFUCKING MONROE  
FreeThoughts: Ew  
Pegarita: OH EW  
GWash(ingMachine): Who's James Monroe?  
FreeThoughts: He is Myself, Alexander, and Angelica's Ex-Boyfriend  
GWash(ingMachine): And who are you?  
FreeThoughts: Oh, my name is Samuel, Samuel Seabury!  
GWash(ingMachine): Right, so he is Alexanders Ex and thats why he is staring?  
Angeli-kickyourass: Oml is he actually  
Damilton: Yea its fucking weird  
Pegarita: He's probably having war flashbacks from the time you called his dick small  
Damilton: Tru  
GWash(ingMachine): Wow  
Damilton: He broke up with me then accused me of stealing money from the school but i was actually cheating on him with Sammy  
GWash(ingMachine): You cheat on your boyfriend?  
NarrativeControl: Dont worry sir, he isnt like that anymore, we knocked some sense into him  
GWash(ingMachine): Thank God  
GWash(ingMachine): In any case, your high school life sounds wild  
Damilton: It was, ill tell you about it sometime  
GWash(ingMachine): Yay (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧  
*Damilton has kicked GWash(ingMachine) from the chat*  
Damilton: I am not putting up with that bullshit  
\---------------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): What do you have against that emoji sweetheart  
Damilton: I will kill you if you use that again  
GWash(ingMachine): but its totally kawaii desu   
Damilton: NOPE, BYE, FOCUSING ON MY WORK NOW

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, im keeping up with my schedule!  
> I hope you enjoyed! Im thinking about doing a little set of side storys focusing on the Whamilton, the High School Years, other little things, would people enjoy that?  
> As always, im promiscuous for comments and kudo's, so hmu!


End file.
